The pastoral congregation
Pastoral care: also for people outside the church
Pastoral and missionary work can often considered opposites. The minister and the elders/deacons are busy doing (crisis) pastoral work, which means they do not have time for ‘looking outward’. According to this point of view missionary work is seen as ‘additional activity’, whereas pastoral work is often seen as something that belongs inside the church. Is that correct? What does that mean for the pastoral care provided by your congregation?
Many ministers will argue that their experience of pastoral care has missionary aspects at the crossroads of life (baptisms, weddings, funerals). People attend churches that have not been for years or perhaps never. That does not mean that you must immediately engage in aggressive evangelism, but it does mean that by being thoughtful you may be able to give people a positive image of the church. They are given food for thought.
When the little girl next door had to go to hospital I asked often how she was doing. I also sent her a get well card. ‘Saying prayers is a habit we have and we will also pray for you.’ I was surprised when our neighbour was touched by the sentiment and was very pleased I had said it.
‘I wish I belonged to a church’, someone said to a colleague, ‘you got such a lot of help from them when you moved, seems ideal to me.’
Our local minister does not just visit the members of his congregation who are ill but also sees other people who are in the village or the neighbourhood. He offers his condolences to all people who have suffered bereavement.
Sometimes the church flowers could be given to people who are not church members.
A number of suggestions
- Pastoral work does not have to be a completely internal affair. Pastoral care is aimed at ‘all people whom the Lord brings us into contact with’, says the Dienstboek (the Protestant Church in the Netherlands ‘Manual’). It is exactly in the personal conversations that connections can be made between the big story of the Gospel and the everyday lives of people, when that is missing, people switch off. This is why the personal encounters during which faith and life can be discusses are of such vital importance.
- Pastoral care is not a task that should be entrusted exclusively to ministers and elders/deacons; it is a task for the whole congregation. Training is important. How do we learn to listen carefully without prejudices? How do we give people space, including those that are ‘different’? Are outsiders able to tell us about their difficult experiences with the church and faith, or do we immediately interrupt them and become defensive? In particular conversations with people outside the church need to be held in a calm atmosphere and they often challenge our ability to take it on the chin. Are we able to practise empathy?
- Pastoral care does not only consist of the individual contact in the home. Pastoral care also takes place in house groups. Sometimes people can be helped pastorally by inviting them to discuss a particular subject: faith education, grieving, faith questions, how to handle stress etc. You might consider a course about faith education, marriage or relationship courses, these might be of interest to people outside the church.
- All sorts of manner of encounters in the neighbourhood, where you as congregation members are on the lookout for relationships to be forged, can have a pastoral aspect. You might like to organise an ‘open house’ in the neighbourhood, a games afternoon with a meal on Boxing Day, a New Years Day reception for the whole neighbourhood, a Mums and Toddlers morning, a coffee morning, a meal for singles or a drinks afternoon on a Friday for senior citizens. In short, pastoral work is also something for the wider circle.
Possible approach for the church
- If as a congregation you want to make pastoral care one of your strong points then strengthen this aspect of your churches work. All sorts of training courses are available and good pastoral care is demanding. It is important to be a good listener, to ask the right questions, to keep the right balance between distance and closeness.
- Emphasise that it is not just your own church circle that is important, but that pastoral care also encompasses relationships with people beyond the church.
- Look into opportunities in small groups and other forms of meetings. What suits your congregation, what does your neighbourhood need? Pastoral care is a wide field. Do not try to many things at the same time rather start one or two opportunities suited to you and your environment.
